Attachment Theory

Attachment theory describes the dynamics of long term relationships between humans especially in families or life-long friends. Attachment means an affectional bond or tie between an individual and an attachment figure. The bonds can be reciprocal between two adults or between a child and a caregiver (the child’s need for safety, security and protection). Well, you can read the whole information from Wikipedia or other resources.

So, why am I writing about this? It happened a few days ago when I was undertaking my SHAP project. I was in the waiting lounge in a general practice and I saw a young family (dad, mom and a young daughter – 3 yo maybe?) waiting for a consultation. Few minutes later, the mom got called in and dad + daughter were waiting in the waiting area. The young girl started crying when she could not find or see her mom. Even though her dad tried to console her, she could not stop crying and it got even louder! Dad performed a futile job! Not only until her mom came out, had she stopped crying…

So, based on this situation, it sort of led me into thinking about the attachment theory…  As babies, we start forming this attachment or close bonds with our parents or caregivers and this forms our basis of security. Removing this figure (carer or parents) will create a stressful situation and definitely cause some distressed moments to the child. For example, the scenario that I’ve seen in the waiting room. 

Well, there’s another reason why I am writing this post too! Obviously, this kind of situation had happened to me once. I can’t remember exactly how old I was but I was in primary school. My mom had decided to follow my grandmother to the United States to visit my aunt and family (about a month maybe?). Seriously, I cannot remember mom packing her luggage. The day has come to say my goodbye and wish them safe journey, and it was only then I started feeling sad in the departure area. How to describe the feeling? There was a mixed feeling of sadness and fear that I won’t be able to see mom again (not that the plane will crash) but more like this family will be incomplete… I cried myself to sleep that night and even worse that I have a project to hand in that week and dad probably don’t know where to get the art supplies! It made me think how important my mom is in my life! Thank you! 

Happy Mother’s Day, mom!

Totally a grown up now, I think I am still applying the attachment theory. Flying away from home is always difficult and it doesn’t feel good to say goodbyes. It is so different compared to the younger days when I can’t wait to leave the country. But it is quite the opposite now… I guess things changed with time and we learn to appreciate different things at different stages in our lives!

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